Disappointed

Disappointed

I see it son

In your deep green grey eyes

Through the lens of my love for you

As you take quick glimpses of screens

Offering you all but temporary refuge

From what you feel

When did you start wanting a bigger family and lament your loneliness and be so…

Disappointed

Concerned

I see it son

Weighing heavily on your shoulders

Resting on your strong and slender body

With longing for your mother

Something tells you something is not right

Wait

When did you grow up so tall and caring and so…

Disappointed

Sad

I see it son

As you bury your head in my lap

Holding back choking tears

Realizing deep loss

Of not having either grandfather

Wait

When did you grow up to know death and loss and melancholy but not be so…

Disappointed

Deep empathy

I see it in you son

Though words of comfort for your dad

To hold on

To weather the thunderstorms, floods, and tornadoes

To say everything will be alright

Wait

When did you become my refuge from afar without a hint of being…

Disappointed

You quickly turn to your screen

Distraction dissolves all

But not the knot in your stomach

Nor mine

Wait when did you learn the ways of absence and mindlessness

Is that how it all began for me

So early

So young

Ever so insidiously

O son I feel you as you take your journey

Seven years in

So much unwritten

So much unfinished

So many firsts

So much can change

Save for one

In you, I shall never be

Disappointed