Midnight Rude Awakening

(Inspired by Events from Last Night)

I lay next to my beautiful angel

My flesh and blood

Sleeping in peace

Like he’s never slept before

His cool breath engulfing my face

Easy in

Easy out

I feel unconditional love.

I close my eyes

Deep gratitude my son

For all the gifts you have given me

Your warmth

Your curiosity

Your presence

Your wisdom

I drift into sleep

What else can I ask for?

I have peace

I have grace

I want for nothing

And then… 

BOOM!!!

A head butt straight into my fucking nose!

I rise like the devil himself

Delivered the blow of death

Straight into my nose

Through to my brain

Into the depths of my soul!!!

What the fuck!

Aren’t you too old for co-sleeping anyway?

Mr. I’m sooooo independent

Get your own damn bed!

Mr. I love my mom so much more than dad

Not that I’m jealous

He draws a deep breath

Turns away

Oblivious to the mayhem he just caused

I stumble to the kitchen

Find some ice cream

Screw you Baskin Robins

Your pistachio tastes like plastic

Your chocolate tastes like the hate child of bitterness and hopelessness on a Seattlesque, cloudy, cold, depressing day in August

I crawl back next to the little monster

Beautiful monster

My monster

My first

My only

What else can I ask for?

I have peace

I have grace

I want for nothing

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Based on events that transpired in my bedroom on 8 May 2017. Dedicated to all fellow dads in love with their 14-month-olds.