Memory

I have a memory

A faint memory

A fleeting memory

A delusion like memory

A memory of a man

He looks like me

He has my memories

He is my past

He may be my future

He is not around right now

Or is he?

I just felt his arms around me for an instant

He inhabited his body

He related

He connected

He breathed

He noticed

He used to relate to all this mindfulness and meditation stuff

He was kind

He judged but not for too long

He got consumed but danced away the entanglement

He got distant but slowly let go of denial and aversion

He was a good guy

He saw

He saw that he saw

He did not ask whether he was a good man

Unlike me

Am I a good man?

Like seriously

Am I?

I wish him well

Others tell me I am him

But the distance is too far

He lived in a different time

He roamed a different space

He felt and thought and lived

At least for a moment

Every now and then

The very thought that I am him is so foreign

I remember meeting him

I remember being him

Is this delusion breaking me

Or am I breaking out of the chains of mindlessness?

But in this moment

All I can muster is

A Smile

As disconnected as I am from him

I hope to meet him again some day

He’s the kind of man

Who would say

Hang in there

It’s going to be alright

He’s probably right

I just don’t remember how it’s going to be