War

I wrote this poem in the sanctuary of Indralaya, on Orcas Island, Washington State. This is a poem on the brutality of civil war, inspired by the efforts of healing in Sierra Leone and filled with the catharsis of having been born and living through the civil war of Lebanon.

On a cold, cloudy, dark day in August
Where the Four Rivers meet
By the crystal, clean, deep waters
Of Lake Clarity
I met Timba Joe
Hands red with blood of neighbors and kin
Eyes veiling the numbness and rage inside

Fuck you Timba Joe
Murderer
Low Life
Immoral
Other
Beneath me
Beneath us

Unworthy
Of Love
Of Forgiveness
Of Acknowledgement
Of Life
Not from me!
Rot in hell!

Killer of my brother
Rapist of my sister
Decapitator of my son’s head
You deserve to die
In pain unlike no other
Alone like you are the only being ever
Resigned to Great Oblivion!

Fuck you Timba Joe
You look like my son
Like my flesh and blood
Murderer
Low Life, Immoral, Other
Beneath me, Beneath us
And I will never give you up

Unworthy
I love you
I cannot forgive you
Son, I see you
You’re unworthy of Life!
I love you
I won’t let you die

I hate the killer in you, son
I loathe the rapist in you, son
I loathe the destroyer in you, son
You deserve to die
I won’t leave you to bear the pain
I won’t leave you be alone
I won’t leave you to Oblivion

Fuck you, Timba Joe
You look like me
I am you
Murderer
Low Life, Immoral, Other
Beneath me, Beneath us
What have I done?

Unworthy
I hate me
I cannot forgive me
I cannot see me
I should not live
I just can’t…
I’m rotting in hell

I am a killer
I am a rapist
I am a destroyer
But I want to live
I want to be free from pain
I don’t want to be alone
I want to awaken

Timba Joe
My son
My brother
My sister
Another me
Finding healing
Finally at peace…. ish….